Trust Yourself, Even When You’re Being Told You’re the Problem
By Katie Joy, The Global Butterfly

I’m sitting down, having a cup of tea, contemplating an unpleasant experience that just happened. It’s one of those moments where you’re reminded of the importance of trusting your instincts, even when someone tries to make you doubt yourself.

I just had an experience that I know some of you will relate to—especially if you've ever found yourself in a situation where you just needed more clarity, only to be met with defensiveness and finger-pointing.

Here’s what happened: I was set to bring home a puppy with my son. We'd already mentally welcomed this little one into our lives, even picked up a few puppy essentials. But as the day approached, something niggled at me. You know that little voice saying, “Hang on, ask a few more questions”? So, I listened to it and reached out to the breeder with a few clarifications in mind.

Long story short, the breeder became defensive, accusing me of being “attacking” and dismissing my concerns rather than addressing them with transparency. In fact, some of her responses raised even more questions. And the biggest irony? She “honestly” shared that she’d misrepresented her intentions to the original breeder just to get this dog. 🚩 That right there was all I needed to know.

I’d already made up my mind to walk away, but before I even said it, she abruptly ended the call, telling me I couldn’t have the puppy and then hanging up. Sure, my son and I felt the sting of disappointment, but I knew deep down that ignoring those red flags would be far more painful in the long run. Here’s why experiences like this are such incredible teachers, and why they’re worth sharing:

1. Trust Yourself When Red Flags Appear

Your intuition is a gift. When something feels off—even if you can’t quite put your finger on it—ask the questions. Yes, the answers may lead to disappointment if the vision you’d created isn’t going to happen the way you planned. But trust yourself. People with honest intentions don’t avoid or stonewall; they’ll welcome your questions. If they don’t, they’re telling you everything you need to know.

2. Stonewalling: What It Looks Like and How to Spot It

Stonewalling happens when someone dodges your questions, changes the subject, or gets defensive without providing clear answers. It’s that vague, roundabout way of responding that leaves you with even more questions. In my experience, stonewalling comes from fear of being “found out.” And it’s a huge clue that you’re being withheld from the truth. So if your questions are met with more fog than clarity, recognise that for what it is. You’re not overthinking or attacking; you’re asking for transparency.

3. Don’t Take the Reactions Personally

When you encounter someone who’s feeling threatened by your questions, they may try to flip the narrative and make it about you—like you’re in the wrong for asking. This kind of projection is common when people feel their “truth” might be exposed. Don’t let their discomfort become your discomfort. This isn’t about you “attacking” or being “demanding.” It’s about valuing transparency and having the confidence to say, “I’m worthy of the truth.”

4. Stay Detached and Keep Your Vision Clear

One of the biggest lessons here is to not let your heart run ahead of the facts. Yes, it’s natural to feel excited when something special is on the horizon, but it’s also wise to stay grounded and focused on your standards. For me, this was about not compromising due diligence just because we were excited. If your vision and values are your compass, they’ll always guide you back to the best decision for you, even if it’s different from what you initially wanted.

5. Honesty and Transparency: Why They Matter

In business and life, there’s no shortcut for honesty. Sure, people can get what they want in the short term through omission or manipulation, but trust once broken is hard to rebuild. In this case, the breeder’s unwillingness to provide clear answers and her admission of dishonesty with the original breeder spoke volumes. Be the person who values transparency. When you build a reputation of trust and clarity, you won’t need to dodge questions. Your integrity will speak for itself, and your success will stand on its own.

6. Find the Silver Lining in Disappointment

Yes, it’s a big letdown to have a vision cut short, especially one that involves a beloved pet. But every time we trust ourselves, every time we choose truth over convenience, we open the door to something better. And, truly, something better will come. I’ve learned that life doesn’t let us down—it often just redirects us to what’s truly aligned.

In the end, I’m proud of myself. Proud that I’ve built the strength and self-respect to ask questions and seek answers, even if it means letting go of something I thought I wanted. Because honesty, integrity, and trust are non-negotiables in my life. If you’ve ever had a similar experience, remember this: trust in yourself and your worthiness for honesty. When you act from that place, you’re living in alignment with your highest values—and nothing is more powerful than that.

Sending love and trust your way,
Katie 💖